Cheap plastic toaster & a pile of dung.

Hadn’t planned on writing anything here in any foreseeable future. Mainly because I’ve only used this blog to spew out gibberish…& to be honest, I got tired of being reminded of how utterly boring & uneventful my life had become. But when I think back on this past year I probably should have vented a bit… Cause it’s been like wading through a big pile of dung to be honest. It had its nice moments of course but overall it’s been crap. Here, let me recap with a few tidbits of the wonderful year of 2019:  

I got put on some seizure medicine that supposedly would help my I.I.H. Did it work, you ask? Well, if me going completely demented & setting my kitchen on fire…then sure, it worked. Pared with a lovely burn in my lungs for weeks afterwards… Yeah, that was a real hoot. Then we have the financial blunders I’ve made, deaths, unwanted houseguests aka rodents & 3 birds nesting in the vents, fucked up sewers & chimney…which was its own humongous sh*tshow. Moving on to the charred electrical system that had to be replaced, family drama, people who never listens, you know what, do I really need to go on? 
So when the fireworks started popping on new years eve it was a relief to step into the roaring 20s.

More or less my 2019 facial expression.

Feel like I probably should explain the events leading up to "firegate" though, just so you don’t think I’m a rabid pyromaniac.
After making breakfast I put the toaster on top of the stove to get it out of the way while I cleaned the countertops. Then at lunchtime I was going to boil a couple of eggs, so I put the pot on, turned on the burner & then went out into the living room to check my phone or something like that. A few minutes went by & suddenly I heard a big bang & then the fire alarm went off. I ran into the kitchen & there I saw thick smoke & fire reaching up to the ceiling. I fortunately had the fire extinguisher within reach so I managed to put it out rather quickly, or so I thought…cause as I went outside to get some fresh air, it flared up so had to do it aaaaall over again. Yay! But yeah, dumbass here had turned on the wrong burner & instead of heating water I set my cheap plastic toaster on fire.  Safe to say that those pills went out the window rather quickly. …& my kitchen were basically condemned for a few months after that.

Next time I get one of these it'll be 99% metal.

So what are the top three lessons I take from 2019? 
1. Write a last will & testament if you have loved ones. Especially if you have children. Cause people can be the sweetest on earth, but somehow, whenever there’s money or valuables involved they turn into f**king Gollum on steroids. I wrote my first will when I got my son. It’s not expensive, you don’t even need a lawyer. All you need is two witnesses to sign it & send it off to be notarised. Nothing more, nothing less. There are examples online, use that as a template. Look at it as blood feud prevention.
2. Guard yourself against the risk of losing your money by spreading your assets as wide as you possibly can. Diversify as a mofo.
3. Induction stove tops are your friend.

That’s all I’m going to say about 2019 for now. Fingers crossed that 2020 & beyond will be different. I sure as hell will continue to do everything in my power to make it so. As to the whole blogging thing...I recon I’ll just vent here every now & then if I have something on my heart, & that’s it. It beats talking with people who are more focused on getting their own point across than actually listen to what I have to say anyway. Heh, it's time for this ol' grump to head off to bed... Almost midnight here.

The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post. ~L. Thomas Holdcroft.


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