Aisle after aisle

My mom & son came & took my fat a$$ out for a drive today, destination Sweden. One of the stores there are kinda like venturing into a no-go zone. But it’s usually me who blows up. I just can’t stand insolent people, elbowing their way through aisle after aisle…& when you find yourself face to face with one of them, opposite each other on each end of the aisle, you know that sh*t’s about to go down. You steer the shopping cart firmly in front of you, showing that you ain’t chicken. Then, at a moment’s weakness you glance over at what your family’s doing & BAM!!! the little trixter have almost sprinted towards you & slammed against your cart. You’re disappointed with yourself, but brush it off & continue slithering between the masses of people & products…& suddenly you’re face to face again, but this time there’s also another shopper turning around a corner & you find yourself in a Mexican stand off’ish situation… Someone’s got to yield, & I still have a thorn in the side from the slam-a-bam from earlier, so it wasn’t going to be me this time. I squinted my eyes, & made a muffled growl…was trying to channel my inner Dirty Harriet, but quickly realised I’d probably resembled Mrs. Magoo more than anything. Cause both backed off & let me through, & it sorta was like getting a geriatric hall-pass. Damn, I hate shopping on the weekends… 


But, getting to spend some time with them again was well worth it. :) Pluss I got to try on my mum’s new glasses. :p They really brought out my double chin, don’t you think? Haha!

~Linn. 
All rights reserved - even the right to dramatise. ~Mary Wilson Little, Reveries of a Paragrapher, 1897.

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