Lost and found
Woke up today thinking it was Monday. Actually lost a whole day, or gained one…all depends on how you look at it I guess. Kinda the way it goes, especially when all you do is relive the same day over & over & over again. I miss feeling a sense of purpose…
Thought that it would help clearing out some stuff from my house, get rid of everything I don’t use or want. Just to have some more space to do what I like. But the more I remove, the more attention I pay to all the things that needs to be done here; Stripping wallpaper, new insulation, new roof, etc. I have a to-do list that’s over 2 meters long, no kidding! …& on top of that I keep finding old keepsakes that makes the whole process even harder, cause I end up reminiscing about things from my past & whoop-de-doodle-there-went-that-day.
But some things I love rediscovering… Especially little tidbits I’ve gotten from people throughout the years. A pressed yarrow in an old diary is one of them. It was given to me by a classmate, just before he carried my bag on a school outing up to a local pond. Nothing more than a kind gesture, but that flower reminds me of that kindness...which came at a time in my life that was full of turmoil. Then there’s this walnut, with two words burnt onto the side of the shell, whenever I shake it & hear the walnut inside it reminds me of home, safety & the last time I had pasta carbonara. I wanna be buried with that nut, maybe one day a tree will grow from it & the roots will embrace whatever’s left of me. See, there I go again, that’s my brain process during my so called purge. Efficiency is completely void. Let's hope I can do better tomorrow. :p
Speaking of better tomorrows, I used the quote down below 7 years ago… When an extremist had decided to blow up a government building & kill children. I was in complete shock watching the news. It wasn’t before the Mayor of Oslo at the time, Mr. Fabian Stang, came out & talked to the press, that I saw a glimmer of hope. (The interview is in Norwegian, at 01:30.) He said that we should unite, meet hate with love, & he was thinking ahead & rooting for a better future. His words weren't pompous or rehearsed, but it was heartfelt & just what we needed at the time. I was sort of hoping those words of his would echo throughout the years that would follow, but reading through a lot of the things that was posted today shows a deep divide. Apparently July 22 wasn’t an attack on our country as a whole, but only an attack on those who… Well, basically only people to the left. Which I think is a despicable thing to say. But what I find mostly disturbing by statements like that…is how it has a tendency to shift the focus away from the survivors & fade out names of the fallen. It's like somewhere along the line we lost some common decency, which I - at this time - have doubts will be regained anytime soon.
We are so few in this country, Every fallen is a brother and a friend. ~Nordahl Grieg.