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Showing posts from July, 2018

Muggy

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My I.I.H.’s been acting up again. It always gets like that before a thunderstorm though, so I knew it would subside after the storm had passed…a little bit at least. Drives me nuts when I have things to do & end up moving around like a slug cause of the pressure. On top of that we had high humidity, which I adore… Not.

On a happier note, my son came home for a visit. It was really nice seeing him on his last day as a 20 year old... Got to talk with him for a few hours & he used my head as a bongo drum. Haha! It sounds like a silly thing to do, but it feels sooo good, plus it sorta takes away the pain for a little while. Makes me wonder if I would benefit from some sort of close contact sport, get a proper pounding every once in a while. Archery doesn’t really cut it. :p 
A few hours after I waved my offspring farewell, the heavens opened…so I’ve been sitting tucked in under a blanket in the corner of my couch listening to the rain, drinking tea & doodling a bit. Just couldn’…

Roam

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Woke up today with an urge to pack up & roam. A leave everything behind type of feeling. Shed my old self & emerge as…you get the point. But did I? Nah, boring ol’ me stayed in the office & checked everything off my to-do list. The feeling still lingers though… 
I miss doing things that makes my heart race, being carefree. Thinking back on when passion penetrated every single aspect of my life, feels more like an eerie faint echo from the past at this point. But if I close my eyes & truly allow myself to go back there, I can still feel the fire upon my lips when I exhale...& I want it back, I want it all back.  

~Linn. Passion is universal humanity.  Without it religion, history, romance and art would be useless. ~Honoré de Balzac.

Bucket list

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I had planned a whole day of digging through my ancestry & write a post about my findings, maybe go for a stroll, write a few letters… Yes, snail mail, I still do those. Sending & receiving letters give me the same feeling as drinking hot cocoa in front of a fireplace after a long day out in the snow. It’s just pure & simply put - cosy. 


Anyway, it seemed fate had something else in store... My phone hasn’t been still at all, & my brain’s kinda hazy now. Been sitting for hours trying to figure out what to write, & the only thing that comes to mind is a question I got earlier about my dreams...which I have several of, like all of us probably have. But the only thing that popped up in my head then & there was that I want to belong... After my son grew up I kinda felt lost & had the urge to wrap my roots around something, a place or someone. But that whole topic is for a less hazy brain-day... Think I’ll stick with something simpler, like my Bucket List:
1. Eat a…

On the horizon

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Rushed across dry grass, with my son’s voice flowing through the phone last night. He had just spottet the Blood Moon on the horizon, & when I saw it I almost felt like channeling Bonnie Tyler’s Total eclipse of the heart.

The evening didn’t go quite as planned, but the eclipse were every bit as gorgeous as I thought it would be. The moon hid behind a lush crimson veil, whilst Mars acted as its trusted companion, flickering like a dying ember beneath. …& you could hear the grain field below rustle in the warm breeze as gentle velvety batwings fluttered above.  No words nor pictures can truly describe moments like those. They remind me of how vast the universe is & how small we truly are. Not insignificant, small. Earth’s like a titan, cradling us, protecting & warding off whatever ominous lies beyond our grasp. …& when our bones are turned to dust, this blue titan will still be here, spinning, cradling, doing its thing. Guess I’m grateful that I got the privilege of …

High hopes

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There’s something very rewarding about going outside in your garden & getting your own food. A couple of potatoes, soil, water & time, & before you know it you have weeks worth of dinners. 

I’ve wanted to get a bunch of old bathtubs that people give away, spruce them up & use them as raised beds. But after I moved to the edge of civilisation, doing things like that have become a logistical nightmare. Plus I hate asking anyone for help… I’d rather drag the bathtub back home than ask for a hand. Heh… Ok, maybe not that bad, but pretty darn close. ;) 
Btw, yesterday I wrote that the meteorologists predicted high temperatures today…& boy were they right. Loads of heat records were broken all over Norway. Funny, cause at a point I started rooting for our county to get the highest temperatures. So, yup...it’s official, I’m a pensioner. Next thing I’ll be sipping on prune juice & wearing velvet track suits, shuffling my way towards the local bingo hotspot. Yay... 
~Linn.

S. S. Censorship

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Was talking on the phone today & nagging a bit about the heatwave we’re having up here…& got promptly reminded that it’s not that many weeks until autumn… It was like standing in front of the Black Gate & Sauron fixing his gaze upon me. I like that though, when it feels like you get undressed & your focus shifts just by mere words. Wish more in life were like that…

Especially this whole political correctness thing, I know I have mentioned it before, but it gives me the same claustrophobic feeling as when it’s hot & humid outside & the clothes stick to your skin. Makes me wanna shower in fire just to get that suffocating crap off of me. Nowadays it feels like you have to tip toe around peoples feelings & I for one am tired of it. The excessive silencing of people who doesn’t have the same opinion will only end up with everyone boarding the censorship. …is a monotonous society really what you want?  We have to listen to each other & keep the debate going. I…

Sweet

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Even though it was hot as hell outside, I decided to go rummage around the local thrift store today. It was 30% off of everything, so bargains were a strong possibility. Ended up going home with 3 items for next to nothing… It’s a short walk, but balancing 3 rather large items with the wind trying to lift up my shirt at the same time was kinda challenging. Hey, I ain’t about to be the prime obsession of a local Ahab by exposing my white blubbery summer bod'. No way, Jose...we all know how that ended.

After a few hours tinkering around with my new projects & cleaning the office, I got a craving for meat & ice cream. No, not combined…can’t really see meat flavoured ice cream becoming the next big thing, ever. So threw together a couple of potatoes, some veggies & chicken in a pan & stuffed it in the oven & ventured outside again in search of the sweet stuff. …& in true form, dessert were basically inhaled on the way home. Made me nauseous & it was calories…

Heartstrings

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Feeling the warm & slightly humid winds gush towards my body today felt like a gentle embrace. I stood there for a wee bit, with my eyes closed & the palm of my hands turned outwards. It was soothing, & dare I say it, rather spiritual…


It gave me the same feeling as embracing arms from behind would, like there were someone solid to lean against, safety… I know it might seem a bit out there, but as long as I’m not attempting a trust-fall with the wind, I’d say it’s all good. ;) 
Guess it’s the old ones reminding me that I’ve drifted a bit far off my path. This year’s been quite difficult, with the pressure in my head & this constant longing, tugging at my heart strings. Feels like it’s getting better now though, slow & steady… 
Having I.I.H. has changed me in so many ways, it’s first & foremost a pain wielding time thief. But oddly enough it’s also given me the gift of insight. It slings you into a solitary existence where you have to face some hard truths about yo…

Soothing sounds...

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I don’t really feel like writing anything today. Just in the mood for crawling up in the corner of my couch & listen to a familiar voice...

~Linn. 
I need a hugjob. ~Tony Delgrosso.

Lost and found

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Woke up today thinking it was Monday. Actually lost a whole day, or gained one…all depends on how you look at it I guess. Kinda the way it goes, especially when all you do is relive the same day over & over & over again. I miss feeling a sense of purpose… 
Thought that it would help clearing out some stuff from my house, get rid of everything I don’t use or want. Just to have some more space to do what I like. But the more I remove, the more attention I pay to all the things that needs to be done here; Stripping wallpaper, new insulation, new roof, etc. I have a to-do list that’s over 2 meters long, no kidding! …& on top of that I keep finding old keepsakes that makes the whole process even harder, cause I end up reminiscing about things from my past & whoop-de-doodle-there-went-that-day.  But some things I love rediscovering… Especially little tidbits I’ve gotten from people throughout the years. A pressed yarrow in an old diary is one of them. It was given to me by a c…

Pride & prejudice

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Imagine something bestial like a rape happens to you… It’s instantly accepted by people as truth, everyone embraces you, looks after you & come to your defence. Your voice is deemed strong & your story is heard by the masses. Now imagine it happening to someone else… The assailant turns out to be an immigrant who can’t speak the language properly, has chosen not to integrate & are clearly living at odds with the law. Might’ve come from a country of war & are mentally disturbed, but still, the rape happened. You start questioning immigration laws, if integration is what it ought to be, mental health screening, etc. & you express that. This time those same people ask for proof of the incident, they embrace & defend the rapist, they call you racist & attack your behaviour. Your voice is silenced & your story is not worthy of attention. 
I’m wondering how things similar to that comes to light? How come one voice is more valid than another? No matter the expe…

Dark ages

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Had a lot of stuff running through the old noggin today, been writing it all down too. But, the weekend’s upon us, & frankly - I’d rather show what I’ve been up to today instead… Not the best picture, but here you go:

I've had this desk for many years now. Bought it at a place called Høyvekta Brukthandel, a second hand shop with antiques & other bits & bobs, this was back when it was located on Jeløya. The desk had a weird brownish colour when I got it & stupid me painted it white, & it's been like that until now. Had this huge plan of sanding it down & getting it back to its former wooden glory, but nah... Had some blackboard paint left & voila. Would never ever do that to a piece I was about to sell though. If I'm redesigning or refurbishing stuff it gets sanded down & the whole shabang. Just can't be bothered with my own stuff, then it's all about instant gratification. 

It always feels nice to have a brush in hand. Being creative i…

Patriarchy's honing in.

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Scrolling through social media makes me realise that the world’s being dry humped by people with borderline personality disorders. Seriously, who the hell takes pictures of their blood soaked pads & post it online?! Get a f**king grip & some damn self respect while you’re at it.


No, I'm not shocked. What I am is rather nauseated actually. Plus it’s this relentless man bashing going on at the same time that aggravates me. If they’re so appalled by men & can’t stand to be around them, then why not smear the menstruation blood all over their face? Let’s name it Modern feminist war paint…my guess is that it’ll take care of that problem all by itself. Hell, why not go all the way while they’re at it & smear their own sh*t over the rest of their bodies? Even better, let’s bottle that crap up & call it: Man Repellant. It’s organic & fresh! They can bring it everywhere & just lather it on whenever they feel the patriarchy’s honing in on them. 
I always grew up se…

Halo, is it me you're looking for?

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Something happened on my brother’s birthday, or what would’ve been his birthday back in May. I’ve never seen anything like it. Was driving home after a couple of hours shopping with my mum…& as always I tried to get a few pictures of the scenery (Nooo, I wasn’t the one driving). Suddenly I looked towards the sun & I saw the most amazing sight. 

Beautiful, right? I just jumped out the car when we got back to the house & went straight out in the street. Got really excited, type fangirl excited...so my neighbours across the street came & looked at it too. They probably thought I was more of a weirdo than I already seem to be, but who cares, I'll bring out the nerd any day for something as gorgeous as that solar halo! Told my mum that it was a pretty neat gift to be blessed with on such a day. You can see more pics & video of it here


My mum had a birthday yesterday & I wish I could’ve been there, felt really shitty staying home. But hopefully I get to see her s…

Hellish...

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Been waaay past 30C here today & I haven’t done much to be honest. Pottered around in the garden & tried to stay hydrated, so not much to report really.
I was going to walk a little in the evening, but luckily my neighbour came running after me & invited me to her house. She has an AC & it was kinda like walking out of Mount Doom & into Fimbulwinter. Exaggerating of course. ;) 
I like talking with her, she's got such a warm personality, inquisitive, very sharp & witty, never a dull moment. I love how she talks about the life she had with her husband & how proud she is of her children. It's like being around my grandmothers again...& like her, they always showed me how to appreciate the simple things in life. So eat that bowl of strawberries & remember to pour a little extra vanilla sauce over it... Then go for a stroll around the neighbourhood. Except when the weather's a tad hellish, then seek refuge at the nearest cold spot.
~Linn.
The rai…

Lounge

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My dad, accompanied by my son, came bearing gifts yesterday. A sunlounger & a big table that he built. Can’t wait to put it up somewhere in the garden. It makes such a huge difference having a good sized table outside. Great place to gather. Not that I have many people over anymore, but still hoping that'll change someday.
That’s actually the second sunlounger I’ve gotten lately. (A sign that I should get my pale body some colour maybe? ...naaah.) My sweet, sweet neighbour gave me a retro one a few weeks ago. Which made me extremely happy, plus it took me back to when I was little... We used to have those with us to the beach, orange floral pattern & all. I know I say this a lot, but damn I miss the sea… It's like I can smell it & hear it whenever I close my eyes. 
Aaaanyway, getting these things just made me think about the exterior state of my house. It’s a work in progress, to say the least. Plus me being on snail pace doesn’t really help progress either. But, my …

Reliable

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According to Egyptian lore hearts were weighed against Maat’s feather in the Hall of Two truths. So your fate was based on whether or not the scale tipped. If it didn’t, you had led a righteous life & could join paradise... If it did your heart was devoured by Ammit & you spent eternity in the underworld…

I sometimes wonder how heavy the hearts are of many on social media. Today I’ve read a lot about how right leaners are somehow gloating about the Norwegian journalist Kadafi Zaman (of Pakistani descent) that are jailed in Pakistan… All because the left had said that Tommy Robinson deserved to go to jail, cause he broke the law. So basically a lot of same coin different side blablabla. I understand the reactions, but shouldn’t the main concern here be that governments are shutting down free speech & the freedom of the press? That elections are being doctored & people who are speaking up against it are systematically shut down? 
But you know what? I find it even more conc…

Snapshots

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Wanted to go to the beach today. Not necessarily to go for a swim (Have to lose a ton of weight or get a wearable tent before I do that…), but just to sit on a towel & have something cold to drink & watch the waves roll in...in a big a** hat & my trusted 50 + sunblock of course. Luckily my spinal fluids took care of all that for me, so instead of sand between my toes, I got to lounge around & watch telly all day. Yay…
In late afternoon it got to me a little bit, the same views & the silence, so I kinda begged for pics on Snapchat...

…& lo & behold, the phone started buzzing. I do have some incredibly sweet people on the other end of the ether. They’ve sent me lovely moments of children with smiles as bright as supernovas & laughter that’ll melt any ice clad mountain top…& amazing scenery from around Norway, balcony greetings from little lovelies in Oslo, cold beers being opened in Sweden, laundry being folded & even a glimpse inside a viking camp.…

Hailstorm

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I love summer storms… Although today, yet again, I screamed like a little girl when lightning struck. Was leaning out the living room window watching the abrupt hailstorm & out of the blue the god of thunder decided to pay me a visit in my backyard. Felt all tingly inside afterwards... :p  
It does give me some major pressure in my head though… So glad the upside of having I.I.H. is that you don’t have to rely on weather forecasts or especially barometers, cause you are one. #SilverLining! Kidding of course, I never rely on weather forecasts, just look out the bloody window. ;)


The storm today reminded me of when my son was younger & we used to sit & stare out over Moss whenever there were summer storms. We lived high up on Jeløya so had a pretty good view. I miss those days… It goes by fast doesn’t it? Wished I could do it all over again for so long, raise a little one, with a proper family unit…but that never happened. Life ey? …you never know where it takes you.
Hope my in…

Weather you do or don't

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How come with many people on both political isles it has to be one way or the other? I don’t get that… Isn’t it possible to have two conflicting thoughts in your head at once? I can be against plastic pollution & still be for driving a huge a** truck that chugs down a bunch of gas, can’t I? 
Oversimplifying here of course, but, I don’t like spraying my plants with pesticides, I even saved a bee from drowning the other day…doesn’t mean I’m totally against conventional farming. I’m for coal, just would like them to reduce the emissions…doesn’t mean I believe that CO2’s something bad, it’s plant food. I also think that the sun has a lot to do with our weather here & that our planet is cyclical driven, like everything else is - seasons, birth, death, etc. 



I also like to look back at what’s happened in history to understand it all better. It’s quite interesting actually, if you sit down & read what archeologists have discovered about climate changes & what that’s done with s…

Illumine

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Sometimes the words you long to hear are left unspoken & your light dims because of it… Then, when you’ve almost succumbed to darkness, a distant, but familiar voice whispers & it’s like your entire existence brightens up again.

Fear of negative reactions sometimes makes you put on lead shoes & sink to the bottom of a murky pond of emotions… Where you hold your breath & bide your time, hoping for a drought so the water levels will go down & you’ll breathe fresh air again. But the shoes are still on & monsoon season is lurking around the corner. Guess I’m saying that wether it’s politics, life in general or love…biding your time & getting lost in your own mind, not doing things, speaking out, or asking questions in fear of repercussions or rejection - you shouldn’t let fear or anxiety rule. It’s such a waste of time. It might be that the person you’re longing to be with are hoping for the same…or speaking out at a family dinner about your political views migh…

Beat of the drum

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So my house is apparently acting like the local woodpecker’s drum. I’m not opposed a little native drum session, but does it have to be that early in the morning? But, I guess it beats waking up to my cat’s screeching. 
I don’t know, maybe fate’s trying to tell me something with all the animal fanfare? Early bird catches the worm & all that crap…so maybe start going to bed early oooor just get as far away from here as possible for a while? I can honestly say that since last November this place has felt like a prison…a comfy Norwegian prison, but a prison nonetheless. It’s like the warden is the only one who can set me free, but he’s put me in solitaire confinement & forgotten I even exist…so here I am, slowly going a tad looney. ;P 
Bah… I need some shuteye, so enough with this mopey gibberish of mine. I'll leave you with a pic of the gorgeous double rainbow I saw a few hours ago. ;)


~Linn. “Do not take anything for granted - not one smile or one person or one rainbow or one b…