It's been a while...

February was the month of enlightenment as far as I'm concerned. Finally found out what's wrong with me. I've pictured horrendous scenarios, everything from tumors to Altzheimer's or even worse. But I'm "only" producing too much spinal fluid, so the pressure it creates on my brain can explain almost all of the things I've been struggling with for the past 2 years. I.I.H. Insane headaches, tired all the time, pain in my eyes; especially with bright light, seeing double or not seeing at all sometimes, throwing up from time to time, every once in a while sounds gets distorted in my ears so I have to go somewhere quiet, been dizzy & even fallen down, can't concentrate at all, been feeling completely retarded; words looking somewhat weird & distorted so I couldn't understand takes me ages to say & write stuff for instant (Thank the Gods for Google!), trouble remembering things, events, names, words, etc. 
I was kinda hoping that the medicine I got from the doctor would miraculously cure me with the first pill, but it's given me more side-effects than any proper effect so I got this insane tingly sensation in my feet & hands, plus all food & drink tastes like s**t. But it's only been a few weeks, so hopefully it'll help. Wish I could do it without any drugs though... If it doesn't work then the doc said I might have to operate a shunt in. Which I definitely don't want to. But I was told I'd might go blind if the pressure doesn't ease up, so they'll probably won't leave me any choice in that matter if it goes that far. Soooo besides chowing down on pills & exercising, I'm off salt & trying to get as much herbs, fruits & vegetables in me that can help me lose more water. *Fingers crossed*
I know it's been quite the ordeal for the people closest to me, especially for my son. Seeing the changes in me & having to deal with this even on my worst days...not knowing what was wrong. He deserves a friggin' medal of honor. Magnificent heart in that kid & a patience like no other. He deserves to get his Mom back...up there front & center, taking whatever punches the world throws at this little family. Whilst he gets to stay carefree just a few more years. ;) So now that I know what it is & I'm not questioning my sanity anymore, I might be able to slowly become myself again...probably not the same physical cause of the fibromyalgia & this new diagnosis, but I'm definitely on a mission to at least get my mojo back. ;) 

Well, it's getting extremely late here... Natta!

Pain of mind is worse than pain of body. ~Latin Proverb.


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Enough already.