I guess it's time to give this blog thing a go again...

*Shite pic...but a mighty tasty beverage. ;)*

These past 6 months been really hard. Never been so sick in my life. I know, I know...it's people out there worse off than me. But when Hel comes knocking you don't really tend to invite her in for some din-din & a chat about the yesteryears now do yah? ;) You just gather all your strenght & shoo that sucker away. But in the middle of everything that's going on you feel extremely isolated. The part in you that wants to reach out & ask for a calm haven to lay your head down on...is also the one struggling the hardest to keep you alert. I've been baffled how peoples reactions been. How is it even remotely possible that they get insulted & make your struggles about themselves? I can see that people want to be included...but for what cost? ...& even weirder is it how people confuse strength & perseverance with being cold & self-centered. Does anyone these days ever just see things as they are? Or have we all been watching a bit too many Dr. Phil shows? If I'm happy, I'm HAPPY! If I'm sad I'll tell you 'bout it! Just stop reading your emotions into it & let me have mine. ...& if I'm sick, just tell me you wanna tuck me in & take care of me. Yes, it's just words...but oh soooo good to hear once in a while. :)

I have to say that sometimes doctors impress the hell out of me...& then there's the occasional time when you wonder where the heck they got their education. But I guess that if you have to deal with thousands of 'sickos' every week I can kinda understand that every now & then you try to stuff some weird drug in a person's arm when all you're ment to do is take a sample of blood. ...& I do wonder how all these miracle drugs that's supposed to make you "functional"...end up f'in up your whole body & your brain?! Oh how I wish I would've stuck to my guns when they first rattled the pillbox. I truly, MADLY, deeply hate stuffing drugs into my body. ...& all because it takes off the edge of my ups & downs, ins & outs, pirouettes...whatever. *sigh*

On a lighter note:
I've discovered the best soda pop ever! It's without artificial colours & flavours...& best of all it's a lighter shade of pink! Pink lemonade comes in a glass bottle with those old bottle caps. I've posted a pic of it as you can see. ;P ... an empty bottle of course. Cause we drank it all. :D I have huge plans of filling my fridge with loads of them. + the bottle is amazing to clean & get all the lable off, then fill it with bath salts, olive oil, or even a whole s**tload of shampoo or dried lentils. It's a great yule present. :) Plus you can make your own lables. :P It's really great getting into the whole holiday mood. I've had like a good 10 year run of feeling miserable around this time of year...cause I kinda felt like we had a wake for my brother in 1996...while he still was alive. But the past couple of years it's been growing inside me again. :) So I'm really getting into the spirit of things. & I love it. :)

Oooh, btw...if any of you heard Thorbjørn Jagland's nobel peace price speech....I'm soooo sorry you had to hear that god awful man speak!!! Both my mum & I got a mix between pissed off & embarrased...I actually tried to chew my ears off. o.O I don't have the english accent down...but I don't go around like a nincompoop wrecking two languages at once. "Helooooo may neme iz Helga & aim from Sweeeeeden!" o.O

Damn I'm tired. Think I'll listen to some music & then go to bed now. I'll probably wake up early. It's kinda nice getting up at dawn & see the sun rise on a saturday. :) Hope y'all have/had an amazing friday. ;)

Linn, xoxo


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