Cheap plastic toaster & a pile of dung.

Hadn’t planned on writing anything here in any foreseeable future. Mainly because I’ve only used this blog to spew out gibberish…& to be honest, I got tired of being reminded of how utterly boring & uneventful my life had become. But when I think back on this past year I probably should have vented a bit… Cause it’s been like wading through a big pile of dung to be honest. It had its nice moments of course but overall it’s been crap. Here, let me recap with a few tidbits of the wonderful year of 2019:  
I got put on some seizure medicine that supposedly would help my I.I.H. Did it work, you ask? Well, if me going completely demented & setting my kitchen on fire…then sure, it worked. Pared with a lovely burn in my lungs for weeks afterwards… Yeah, that was a real hoot. Then we have the financial blunders I’ve made, deaths, unwanted houseguests aka rodents & 3 birds nesting in the vents, fucked up sewers & chimney…which was its own humongous sh*tshow. Moving on to th…


I got a lot of firewood from my lovely neighbours today, so now I have this huge pile in my garage & a nice & toasty house. 

I take my hat off to him, that has worked a lifetime doing that…chopping down trees, tending to the woodland. Hard work...& think, he’s way over 80 & still does it with a smile. 
Then there’s her, gosh, her kindness radiates. I can’t even explain it, but she somehow teaches me gratitude on a whole different level - & grace. She reminds me that there’s a lot to be thankful for, it’s just a matter of perspective… 

Guess what I’m most thankful for at the moment is that this hollow space in my heart’s slowly being filled again…through kindness & the simple thing of being seen, & opening my own eyes to the little things in life - that actually is life itself.
~Linn. Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and fans the bonfire. ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld.

Guilty pleasures

Damn, almost mid October already. How time flies when you’re having fun… Sooo, you might be wondering why I’ve been awol for the past few weeks? …the easiest explanation to that is basically that I’ve f**ked up & been working my derrière off trying to set things right. Not going to dive further into to that pile of manure though, so moooving on. 
The trees have been changing colours & my grass is covered with little flakes of golden hues. No doubt about it, this is my favourite season. It’s jam packed with guilty pleasures…  Like not cleaning up in your garden, cause you enjoy the smell of rotting leaves. Hell, I even like it when they make the pavement slippery…or you’re waiting for the bus & you just stand there squishing one or two underneath your boots & kinda smearing it all over. Yeah, I know, I’m weird...

Then there’s the whole stew thing. I don’t know what it is about that, but stews are just such a f**king release from the salads & easy digestible foods. I wa…

Aisle after aisle

My mom & son came & took my fat a$$ out for a drive today, destination Sweden. One of the stores there are kinda like venturing into a no-go zone. But it’s usually me who blows up. I just can’t stand insolent people, elbowing their way through aisle after aisle…& when you find yourself face to face with one of them, opposite each other on each end of the aisle, you know that sh*t’s about to go down. You steer the shopping cart firmly in front of you, showing that you ain’t chicken. Then, at a moment’s weakness you glance over at what your family’s doing & BAM!!! the little trixter have almost sprinted towards you & slammed against your cart. You’re disappointed with yourself, but brush it off & continue slithering between the masses of people & products…& suddenly you’re face to face again, but this time there’s also another shopper turning around a corner & you find yourself in a Mexican stand off’ish situation… Someone’s got to yield, & I stil…

Moping around

Not much to say about today. Just moping around wishing I was at Midgardsblot

Hopefully I’ll be up & about next year, so I can attend stuff like that… I dream about Hellfest, Bloodstock, unfortunately Tons of Rock's moving from the fortress in Halden so that one’s out of the question…but there’s a bunch of viking/medieval fairs I wanna visit too, so fingers cross that 2019 will be the year I come out of hibernation. :p
I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it.  I want to have lived the width of it as well. ~Diane Ackerman.

Lurking in the shadows

Want to know what I find utterly disturbing? Guys who find it funny to invade a person’s privacy. It’s happened a few times, where someone (old friends & strangers) who has parked by the church next door, walked up to the cemetery & taken pics of my home & sent it to me. Do they really expect me to invite them in for coffee or what? Cause all it makes me wanna do is punch them in the face, with a brick. It freaks me out & it doesn’t exactly invoke a sense of security in me. One thing is people I truly care about showing up at my doorstep, but that lurking around crap’s just creeping me the f**k out. Respect me enough to ask in advance or sod off. 

What you allow, you encourage. ~Michael Josephson.


Today has definitely not been a good day. My I.I.H.’s been acting up. Felt the pressure in my spine even…& when it does that it means it’s very high & usually f**ks up my body temperature. So been feeling feverish for hours now. Really tired of this s**t. I can handle the pain, it’s the uncertainty of the next day that gets me. I just never know how I’ll be from one day to another.  Trying to avoid being put back on the rat poison again, so guess I’ll be upping my parsley, raw maca powder, etc., again. I swear I’m like 85% parsley by now. :p Why parsley? …it’s a natural diuretic & I try to consume as much of those as I can, like dandelion, caffeine, ginger, etc.  ...& the maca root thingamajig is just me experimenting. Since I read that it can  change the hormone balance in your body...& some people with my condition have had success with a medicine which does just that. But we'll see. It haven't really shown a huge change just yet. But a girl can hope...