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Showing posts from June, 2011

*Snarl*

Yesterday I got so pissed off at getting sick almost all the freakin' time. So, I decided to succumb to whatever restitution plan Nature has in store for me...& basically proclaimed that - if doing that takes me barefoot through summer solstice or draped in midsummer madness, dancing with the faery queen...so be it! So, I'll be following my gut a 100% from here on. Doing anything else always seem to lead me straight to (pardon my english) the shitter anyway. *sighs* I'm so angry & fed up these days. It's exhausting! Probably cause of the whole Acute bronchitis thing, & haven't been able to go to the gym to get out all the pent up energy...but also cause I'm plain ol' miserable here. I'm tired of trying to please the ones around me only to get dismay in return. But even more tired of spineless people thinking & wanting one thing, but still pussyfooting around. Have I complained enough now? Naaah, got one more thing to get off my chest: Cr…

My heart is big, but it beat quiet...

Haven't been home in a couple of weeks... A few months back I got this offer from my doc, & I accepted. It was an opportunity to work out at an old military base...& have to say, that's probably the best decision I've ever made. It's been eye opening. I've gone to the gym before & all that, but something inside awoke. I've rekindled the pure love I have for working my butt off, & having fun doing it. ;P When I soaked my body in the pool there & started to f. crawl... Oooh, the feeling I got was so familiar, soothing...I was home. Each breath, each stroke...home. Felt like my soul shined through my flesh & wrapped itself around me. Sooo, reckon I've been inside a bliss-cocoon...still am. Wonder what'll appear...maybe a Palos Verdes Blue? I've been dreaming about white shores...& me standing there, covered in a gazillion blue butterflies. When I start to dance & they all fly away...there's a new me...I'm longing…