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Dream on...

Had the longest week evaaaaaah! :P Been to meetings, courses, had a little Halloween shindig, worked, painted, rearranged, redesigned, revived & revised o.O...even managed to work out every day! :O Yeeeezzz, I even impress myself aaaiiiit?! ;P But I'm determined! Been thinking about dragging some poor sucker with me to the gym...but every time I get that brilliant idea I kinda remind myself on how much I loathe it. I like doing things like that alone. More efficient that way....just in, do my thing & out again. Going for a walk or stuff like that is different...it's nice having someone to creep around with. :P 
The whole stress aspect of this past week isn't quite as blissful...had a major anxiety attack. Don't like them... I see it coming a mile away...but can't stop it. That worries me a lot! Cause I don't want it to grow bigger again & hinder me going about with my life. The anger's exhausting, consuming & it kills a little part of me every single time...& the helplessness is a feeling I can't relate to...in any way...but it's there. In dire need of some kinda aid. But to be honest I don't know how to fix it. An healthy amount of self-medicating musical dosages just doesn't cut it anymore. It's a limit to how much C R A P I can listen too. ;P...want all of my mojo returned to me - pronto! ;P A good friend of mine said I needed to invoke the bitch. Risky business diggin' up corpses I'd say! 

My projects are slithering away... Flippin' annoying actually. But I can't stay in the room all day with all the fumes from the oil paint. So healthy amounts of fresh air's acquired. ^^ But I can "see" everything slowly coming together...& that's what's keeping me going. :) Maybe I just need to get all the other crap outta the way...so my brain can relax? Or take up aquarelle painting? ;P Or dive into a world of acrylic pop artsy stuff? o.O Or...zZz? 

Getting very late now...


Nite lovelies! <3

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