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Underlying cause

Imagine constantly getting exposed to pus & abscess from people’s open wounds... The putrid smell & constant oozing from the maggot infested lesion is straight in your face no matter where you turn. That’s how logging onto social media feels like these days to be honest. It’s like a mindless humming of utter bullsh*t...& I am guilty as hell for humming along with them at times. I miss smelling old books, reading them, learning things about history, nature, etc...



Anyway, I really dropped in to say that I had a rather lovely weekend. My son was here with his friends. The laughter & music filling the house when they’re here always lifts my spirit. A few minutes after they had left, it all took a rather abrupt turn though. My cat had a seizure. In almost 17 years we’ve never had any trouble with Loke. So it came as quite the shock for my son & I. It was awful seeing it. Talked to a veterinarian & she said that it seemed like an epileptic seizure...& in old cats …
Recent posts

Not yours to take

When a loved one’s struggling with suicidal thoughts you automatically start pushing everything in front of you, chores, appointments, relationships, trips, etc. You’re kinda on standby 24/7 & can’t explain why you’re like that, cause it’s not your story to tell… 


But then, all of a sudden, it breaks the surface & reaches the light…& you can open up about it, just a little bit though. Not gonna go diving all in at this point, but I'll say that I do understand the dark thoughts, the inner voice that whispers of a person’s worth. But suicide really is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 
…& I do not believe your life is yours to take. Cause when your heart stop beating, other’s start to ache. Your pain never goes away, it just takes on a different form in all of us you leave behind. So instead, let the people who love you so dearly, break through that gloomy mist that surrounds you & silence that lying piece of sh*t voice in your head telling you you’re wo…

No, HIV’s not HIP.

This s**t ((link)) found it’s way into my DMs on Twitter a few minutes ago & it suddenly made me sob uncontrollably. Cause you know what? Lately I’ve been seeing that hipsters are trying to make having HIV cool or mainstream, & it’s just beyond me. F**k, I can hardly see the screen now, cause I’m crying so much. One thing is to inform people that you can’t get it from a hug or eating from a plate people with HIV have touched, but please, for f**ks sake, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM COOL!!! It’s sooo mentally retarded, it’s bats**t! Step out of your damn bubble & realise that there are people out there still DYING FROM IT!!!
Source My brother died from so called ‘HIV related disease’. This was back in 1997 & you know what? …if it would’ve been 6 months later, he would’ve had life saving drugs. He would’ve been able to live a long life with his partner. He would still be here! I still could’ve gotten hugs & hear his voice… Oh great goddess, I wish I could remember how h…

Chirp

Since this whole Weinstein thing surfacing I’ve been watching an army of self-proclaimed feminists waiving their clenched fists around & screaming at the top of their lungs of the injustice. But I’m wondering…

…where are their outrage & clenched fists when pictures of decapitated schoolgirls appears on the ether? …where are their accusing indexfingers, which are usually pointed in the patriarchal direction, when women around the world are denied the right to wear whatever the hell they want (PATRIARCHY!), like we in the west are…or when girls are shipped back to their parents’ country of origin to be taught “proper values”. Where the f**k are their collective screams when women & men (equality, ey?) are being brutally raped!?! 
So excuse me for turning a deaf ear to the whole feminist pussyhat movement. Cause it’s left a rather foul taste in my mouth hearing crickets from that same patriarchy bashing crowd. Especially when true omnipresent patriarchal oppression are fought b…

Safety

One of my earliest childhood memories is sitting in our backyard playing & hearing fighter jets approach in the distance. When they reached our house my dad used to tip the wing to let me know it was him... 

…know I’ve said it before, but the sound they make do equals safety to me. Hearing them fly overhead makes me calm…& no, it does not elude me that the same sounds made in other parts of the world are the source of great anguish. But what i mentioned was my life, my memories, my little anecdote about the flip side of just that coin. Those war machines, the jets, the helicopters, the green cladded men, they meant safety to me… The seats in the jets were soft, the helicopters brought Santa & a bunch of gifts to us kids at the army base & the green cladded men came with smiles & once in a while a strong hand or two ruffled my blonde hair. It all felt so safe, home…
So, guess I’ve been searching for that safe haven again for most of my life…but even within reach I’ve …

Rock'n rape

I got to be honest, this whole social media business can be quite taxing… The constant regurgitation of leftwing rightwing hullabaloo is making me rather queasy these days. But, I can’t boast of being a busy socialite with my dance card full. Sooo, like a moth to a flame…
Source

You’ve heard about the festival rapes, right? …well, I came over this rant online which stated that a certain rock festival was patriarchal & that the reason why there weren’t rapes there was because of exactly that + the women who were violated didn’t report it because blablablaaaaah… *insert eye roll here* 
Let me tell you a little story… It’s about an awkward little girl who spent her first years on this earth with her family in a small black cabin in the woods. She picked up injured bumblebees & built them lego houses & fed them food & water, underneath her bed she had homemade scented rosewater which she stored in old jam jars… She even had a small pink grimoire which she wrote spells in. Eve…

Enough already.

Ever since I saw the mutilated body of 11 year old Ebba Åkerlund in April, I've been angry. Angry at apologetic people & looneys with love signs & pussyhats. This isn't the 70s folks. Unless you make a poisonous concoction & feed it to the people killing our kids, there's no f**king flower power, ok?

Source This Manchester attack made me go from angry to furious. I don't even know where to begin... This whole thing is unpalatable. Reading about how the shrapnel from the bomb had destroyed arteries, bones & nerves in the victims, leaving gaping holes... Do I agree with what the nurse said at the end of this article, that we should focus on the good that happened that night, absolutely. But ignoring who did it & why, no, absolutely not. Not this time around. As Norwegians we met our own extremist with a sea of flowers & candlelight. I just got numb back then, all those young lives lost...it was just unfathomable. But now I'm just plain old pisse…